Update on Life-Nothing Witchy

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Halfway through the semester is usually always the same for me.  I stumble around with glazed over eyes and try my hardest not to fall asleep at the wheel after long days and nights either in classes or working to make enough money to feed myself.  I'm there now.  By the time the semester ends I'll consider committing myself and checking into a hospital like a socialite celebrity, but that's still a couple months away.

I'm chasing something that often feels like it doesn't exist.  When I moved back to California I dreamt of doing something with my life, anything.  I enrolled in a community college to get some direction, and I got it.  I decided to get a PhD.  Over the years, I've decided that I may or may not go that far with varying degrees of conviction.  But here I am, looking up PhD programs to apply to next year.

It's always about this time that I start to doubt myself.  I feel like I'm missing out on life experiences and sacrificing a lot for my education, for a degree that may or may not be useful.  I can feel people getting frustrated when they ask if I'm free and I have to say no, because I'm never free. There is rarely a minute of the day that isn't accounted for. And there isn't much relief on the horizon.  Next semester I will be debuting my show and writing my thesis.  Two things that I've been waiting for but two thing that separately are time commitments and together are death sentences.  But I would let both of them kill me.

I'm exhausted, spread too thin, feeling guilty and isolated, but I have about a year left. 

Anyway, here's some cool shit I found on the internet.

Bauhaus Influence is Still Seen
David Bowie's Art Collection
MOMA's Entire Archive, Digitized

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